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Why Janet Jackson once hated her smile: 'I Looked Like the Joker'

The 52-year-old "All For You" crooner may be a triple threat, but the star has still had her fair share of insecurities.

The singer disclose in InStyle‘s magazine October beauty issue that it wasn’t until her 30s that she felt sexy.

“I got out of a funky relationship and finally got back to me. I went to therapy, which was all about finding that thing you like about yourself. The realization that, you know what, you’re not so bad after all,” Jackson says.

Like most women, Jackson also admits she hasn’t always loved the skin she’s in.

Asked about her past insecurities, the mother of one says, “I would have to say my body,” adding, “A lot of it has to do with experience, getting older. Understanding, realizing that there isn’t just one thing that is considered beautiful. Beautiful comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. I had to find something in my body that I loved, and that was difficult for me to do.”

Janet Jackson on the cover of InStyle

Jackson continues, “At first, I couldn’t find anything. I would look in the mirror and start crying. I didn’t like that I was not attractive. I didn’t like anything about me. But I wound up falling in love with the small of my back. And then from there I found more things.”

In addition to gaining body confidence, she also reveals she’s come to embrace her smile.

“And then finally realizing my smile isn’t that bad after all. I thought I looked like the Joker because it was so big,” Jackson tells InStyle.

When it comes to what makes other women beautiful, Jackson explains it’s “lots of different things,” sharing: “It’s vulnerability. It’s power. It’s confidence. It’s happiness. It’s seeing the goodness in the soul. It’s spirituality. It’s being selfless and what you do for others before doing for yourself.”

The past few years have brought both heartbreak and joy for the beloved performer.

In 2017, Jackson welcomed her first child Eissa Al Mana with ex Wissam Al Mana. The couple split in April of last year just three months after giving birth.

Then, this June, her father Joe Jackson died of pancreatic cancer at age 89.

Janet Jackson

“It’s very tough,” Jackson tells InStyle about her father’s death, which came during her State of the World tour. “But it was also difficult coming back because I was very much behind [with] rehearsals.”

Keeping her father’s legacy alive, Jackson wants to instill in her son “the foundation of being grounded and also of a higher power,” lessons she learned as a child.

“Knowing who he is and that we are all equal no matter the race or gender. And that he is to be respectful towards others but also that others are respectful to him.”

InStyle‘s October beauty issue hits newsstands on Sept. 14.

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